|My mind was fucking blown by this point|
The object of the game is simple, yet not entirely like a racing game. It can best be explained by giving you a taste of the "story". You step into the role of "The Enforcer", a contestant on the hit virtual reality TV show, Megarace. Your host Lance Boyle, both chides, and complements you as you attempt to wipe out all of the vicious speed gangs plaguing your universe. Lance makes it crystal-clear that everything that takes place on the show is in a virtual reality world, so nobody really dies. Then he asks how many times someone's neurons can take that kind of pounding after you win a race by killing all of the other racers. So it's pretend murder that can lead to real bodily harm? Whatever. Your goal is to step into the virtual world and wipe out these misanthropic deviants one car at a time. That's right, only one car besides yours is ever on the track and more spawn as you blow up competitors. You have to either blast them with your laser cannon or hit them with missiles if your car can carry them and if you can find ammo (quick aside, I've NEVER found missile ammo), or you can pull up beside them and grind 'em into the sidewall. This is where it sort of fails to be a "race". You can't beat a track by passing your opponents. If you do happen to pass an opponent, their car will explode after about a minute which can, and probably will cost you a victory. To achieve this goal there are multiple power ups that litter the track from energy for your lasers to speed boosts. You can win prizes and shit that don't really matter. They're just gags to keep up the game show theme such as a professor's brain or covers for your car seats. The glue that really holds this bitch together though, is the host.
|I still say that virtual TV is WAY more entertaining than reality TV|
Next time on Retronick!
Nick talks about his history playing the nefarious Megarace and chronicles his journey to defeat this beast from another time. Can he prevail over this seemingly insurmountable task that has challenged him for over 17 years? Or will he suckle the acrid cream of failure from the dreaded teat of despair? Read next weeks chilling issue to find out!