|Always bet on Duke.|
Sorry to all the naysayers who fancy themselves such comic geniuses. You will soon have to come up with some original material as it seems your favorite joke is fast becoming irrelevant. Adam Sessler once commented in a G4 segment titled "Sessler's Soapbox", that he was happy to see the game "cancelled", and had often wondered which would last longer, his career, or Duke Nukem Forever's development cycle. Well, it seems that unless he lives forever, Sessler loses. It's funny to watch the May 13 clip of him gleefully carrying on about the death of Duke Nukem Forever and 3D Realms, then juxtapose it with a picture of him at Titty City on February seventh. Never once was it announced that the game was cancelled. Sometimes I feel like the only person who remembers that. Duke Nukem Forever is indeed coming out, and from the look of it, not too much has changed since the king moved to Gearbox. Despite the elation I feel, I have noticed another disturbing trend in gaming journalism, and I'm starting to wonder if any of us remembers how to just let go, and have fun.
|"Assuming the game was gonna actually make it out." |
Never assume, Sessler!
|Just run into this mess and fucking kill something!|
Why make it more complicated then it has to be?
After reading a few previews for the game I decided to leave a comment on Kotaku.com that I think sums up my feelings better than any number of massive blog posts can:
"Lots of people who have played this thing first hand are calling the gameplay dated. If this thing played like Gears of War, I think there would be more outrage. Seriously, modern shooters are relatively easy and are more like a string of cutscenes strewn together on a carefully planned grid. I like the idea of getting back to complex level design riddled with secrets and fun interactive bits that you're not going to find all of the first time through. Lets get some classic challenge back in our shooters. Classic Duke needs classic gameplay. I hope if they decide to do a fifth installment we'll get the same sort of gameplay with polished, more modern visuals, but I don't want any "Gears of Modern Halo War 3: Black Ops" in my Duke Nukem. You can keep that shit."
I'm not trying to say we should forgive the egregious delays, crap-console Duke games, or years of raised and crushed hopes. All I'm saying is you should try and let your inner-14 year old out. I didn't have a chance to go to "Duke Nukem's Titty City" to try out the game, but I'm certain it plays like I'd expect it to. Over the top humor, nudity, and ultra violence. After all, isn't that all we wanted in the first place?
Side note, If you don't understand why they chose to hold their press event at a strip club then I'm afraid you've missed the point entirely... Or you're 16.
By the way... Told ya so bitches!
Duke Nukem Forever WILL BE RELEASED, on June 14th, 2011.
*EDIT: Duke Nukem Forever's release has been pushed back to June 14th, 2011... That's what I get for bragging about the ONLY exact release date we've EVER been given.